The Truth About Self Care While Grieving (My Story)
No one prepares you for how often goodbye becomes a part of adulthood. So it’s no shocker that none of us know how to practice self care while grieving. We need to change that, and this post is here to help.
Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if or when I was going to share this online, but I feel like sharing is part of the grieving process.
I recently had to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life: My grandma.
As long as I can remember, my grandma was always a constant force in my life. I grew up spending summers at her house — soaking in her stories, laughter, and love. I have so many memories of her, but I especially will miss the time we spent baking ricotta cookies together. She was just one of those people who had this amazing, infectious laugh that lit up everyone else in the room. And until I was 31, I was lucky enough to still have her in my life.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve been back and forth between spending time with family, managing work, trying to keep up with my health, and simply processing everything. If you've ever lost someone, you know the world doesn't stop. You still have responsibilities. You still have deadlines. You still have dishes to do and meals to prep.
But in all of the craziness of dealing with the death of a loved one, there’s one person you can’t forget: You.
Women & Grief: Why We Tend to Put Ourselves Last (And how to change that!)
One thing I’ve noticed — both in my own life and in conversations with other women in their 30s — is that in times of stress, we tend to put everyone and everything before ourselves. We pour out endlessly: into our work, our families, our friends, our communities. But where do we fit into our own lives?
Self-care while grieving isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.
And yet, it feels hard. Because when you're mourning, showing up for yourself might feel like the last thing on your mind. That’s exactly why it matters.
Dealing With Grief at Work & In Daily Life
Navigating grief while continuing with daily responsibilities — especially work — can feel like walking underwater. You're expected to be productive, focused, even cheerful at times, when your heart feels like it's breaking in slow motion. I’ve been struggling with this for the past few weeks leading up to and then following my grandma’s passing.
If you’re dealing with grief while you’re trying to hold it down at work, I want to gently remind you:
You don’t need to pretend you’re okay: Give yourself permission to be honest — even if it’s just with one trusted person.
Set boundaries where you can: Protect your energy, decline what you don’t have space for, and say yes to what nourishes you.
Build micro-moments of self-care into your day: Even 5 minutes of breathwork or a walk around the block counts.
The Healthy Grieving Process (Isn’t All or Nothing)
Grief is not linear. There’s no checklist. And it doesn’t magically end after the funeral. One moment you feel okay, the next you're overwhelmed with sadness out of nowhere.
That’s why it’s so important to ditch the all-or-nothing mindset, especially around fitness, nutrition, and wellness. This is something I preach to my clients, even when they aren’t dealing with the death of a loved one.
You might not have an hour for a full workout, but what can you do in 20 minutes?
Maybe it’s a walk. Maybe it’s some light stretching. Maybe it’s just going outside and breathing deeply.
One of the ways I’ve stayed grounded is by intentionally moving my body, even in small ways. Physical movement not only supports your body, it also helps you process emotion. And nature? That’s been a healing balm for both my mental and physical health. Bike rides on the boardwalk are literally a gift.
How to Deal With Grief and Loss (While Still Taking Care of Yourself)
Here’s what I’ve learned firsthand about navigating loss while still trying to stay connected to your well-being:
1. Get Back to the Basics
First thing’s first: We need to focus on the basics to help us weather the storms of the grieving process. That means:
Eat regular meals — even if they’re simple.
Stay hydrated.
Prioritize sleep (or at least, rest when you can).
Move your body gently.
These may seem small, but they’re the foundation of a healthy grieving process and have been the core four that I’ve tried to stick to following the death of my grandma.
2. Let Go of Perfection
There’s no “right” way to grieve.
Some days you’ll feel motivated to go for a run. Some days, brushing your hair is the win. Celebrate those small wins, because they count.
Healing isn’t linear, and your routine doesn’t need to be perfect to be powerful.
3. Reflect on What Matters
Grief has a way of making you look at life differently. Watching my grandma age and pass made me ask myself: How do I want to take care of my body now, so I can live fully later?
I feel like so many women I talk to are thinking the same thing. They’re starting to ask:
Do I want to be active with my future kids/grandkids?
Do I want the energy to travel and explore the world?
Do I want a different experience of aging than what I’ve seen?
These reflections aren’t morbid — they’re deeply motivating.
4. Create Rituals That Bring Comfort
Whether it’s making a favorite family recipe (like ricotta cookies!), lighting a candle at night, or going for a walk at the same time each morning — rituals help ground us. Getting yourself into a routine can help get your mind into the right place, even if you’re struggling.
For me, I’ve found comfort in small, nostalgic acts that I used to actually do with my grandma, like baking and spending time with my family. It’s been so healing to be together with my family during this time. I know it isn’t always possible for everyone who is grieving, but if you’re close to family or friends, it helps to get together with them and grieve together.
A Final Word on Self-Care While Grieving
You don’t need to bounce back. You don’t need to rush through the pain. But you do deserve to be cared for — especially by yourself.
Take a walk. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Eat food that nourishes you. Move your body in ways that feel good. Talk to people who understand. Rest without guilt.
You only get one body, one life, and one precious chance to live it well — even through heartbreak. I know one day, by practicing self care, I’ll be able to listen to that song that reminds me of her or bite into a ricotta cookie without crying. But that day doesn’t have to be today. And that’s OK.
